Posts Tagged ‘things i hate’

Success in Creating the Most Unpopular Blog of All Time

November 11, 2009
Unpopular

It wasn't easy, but I've finally done it!

In an effort to completely alienate my audience and leave them confused and frustrated, I have achieved the impossible title of, “World’s Most Unpopular Blog”. While most bloggers are trying to get people to read their thoughtful ideas and gasp with amazement at how incredibly cool their ability to find strange and interesting things on the internet is, I have been writing long and winding incomplete sentences without proofreading for errors. I’ve been purposely misspelling important words for the sake of frustration. My subject matter has been dull and uninteresting, and I’ve gone on ad naseum about topics that have already been better covered by more capable and professional internet writers. I have purposely chosen subject matter that is offensive and insensitive to just about every type of person you can imagine, while maintaining a droll monotone of unexciting prose. This methodology has been applied to all things that I hate or dislike, and without any variation from this routine, I have simply bitched and complained a lot without offering any better ideas or compelling critiques.

It’s been a hard road, but I am glad I finally made it. Being at the top of the pile of the worst blogs in the world is an achievement I never thought I would accomplish, mostly because I don’t have any confidence in myself at all. But by avoiding hard work and critical thinking despite all odds, this moment has finally arrived. Of course, no one will ever read this because I have less than two visitors to my blog in the past four months, and both of those were me. This is a personal accomplishment, and now I can go on to do other great things with my spare time, like sharpening my fish hook collection and shooting rats at the dump. With the extra void that this blog has filled in my life, so shall I find another outlet for my less-than-average creative energy. Way to go, me!