The World Now Has One Less Boner

Andrew Koenig, the actor most known for his role as Boner on the hit TV series “Growing Pains” from the 80’s committed suicide by hanging himself from a tree deep in the heart of Vancouver’s Stanley Park during the Olmpics. While the tragedy of this unhappy event makes me sad, I can’t help but point out the uncomfortable humor inherent in repeating these facts. And I also can’t help but point out that one of my many nicknames is also Boner (Chris Jones ->Jones->Jonesey->Joneser->Boner->Stabone, and so on…), and wonder when I die, will my obituary read something like, “Boner Succumbs to Prostate Cancer”? I know I should feel bad about writing this, but sometimes humor is the only way to deal with loss, especially when we are talking about such a loveable TV personality.

 

I would also like to point out that Kirk Cameron, who played Mike Seaver (which coincidentally rhymes with beaver) on “Growing Pains”, is now a wacko fundamentalist Christian that makes videos denouncing the ‘absurdity’ of Darwin’s Theory of Evolution. When Koenig went missing, Kirk threw this bone (pun intended) to his old buddy:

 

“Mike and Boner could always work things out when they put their minds to it. Andrew, if you’re reading this, please call me.”

  

I imagine that if Andrew had actually called his old buddy, he would have been lectured on the fact that God was there for him, and he should answer his call. I’m also guessing that Andrew didn’t call Kirk because the last thing he wanted to hear before ending his life was some religous nonsense from his wacko ex-coworker. There’s no way he was going to play Boner to his S(b)eaver.

 

Boner Arrested

It’s only fair to mention that Koenig did in fact protest a lot, and there is a picture of him being arrested at the Rose Bowl in ’08 on his father’s memorial site. Apparently he was protesting US involvement in the Beijing Olympics. I don’t know why he chose the Rose Bowl… maybe it was really close to his house or something.

 

Serious Boner

On a final note, I offer this simple fact as a tribute to show just how powerful and awesome Boner was:  shortly after he left Growing Pains the ratings coincidentally dropped and by 1992 it was cancelled. Even Leonardo DiCaprio couldn’t save the show! That’s how awesome he was. Boner simply was the show, and all the other characters sucked in comparison to him. He paved the way for all the Boners to come after him, and he will be sorely missed (ouch!). If only he had Viagra, perhaps this Boner could have lasted a little longer. Ok, now I’m really going to hell!