Growing Up is Hard to Do

This blog has been released to the hounds for the last two months while I attempt to simplify my life and move forward into adulthood after nearly 15 years of living like a viking. Ever since I finished playing my last show in December, I’ve felt that it’s time to take a step back and re-examine what it is I’m actually doing so that I don’t look back 10 years later and wonder, ”What the hell happened?”.

It’s not necessary to go into all of the details of the process. Let’s just say it involves a lot of time fixing up my room, watching HBO OnDemand, and recording. For the first time in several years I’ve gone an entire month without playing a single show or making a public appearance at someone else’s gig. No more smoking cigarettes and drinking regularly, and as a result I feel more centered and stable. Without all these sinful delights to waste money on, I find myself able to pay off nearly all of a 10-year debt, which is a nice thing to be able to do in this economy.

When asking myself why this is all happening, I discover it’s because I’m tired of partying and running around living a child-like dream that obviously isn’t coming true. I love performing and hanging out with friends, but no longer acquire pleasure from getting wasted and playing seedy joints without appreciation (or pay). Maybe I’m growing up, or maybe I’m just becoming a big pussy, but either way I am naturally tending towards moving on to something different. I think it’s called being realistic.

In the last year I’ve had to be honest with myself and admit that a music career isn’t necessarily going to provide me with everything I need in life - forget about the things I want! At 31 I still don’t have health insurance, haven’t seen a dentist in 7 years, and possess no savings or investments. I work part-time because it allows the freedom to tour and work on music, but it’s simply a holding pattern and I’m always a step behind financially. I’m not saying I don’t want to play music any more or quit my job, I just need to focus my energy and achieve higher goals than I have in the past.

I’ve had some amazing adventures and done things that most would never dream of trying, so I don’t feel unfilfilled in the slightest. I’m still inspired by music every day and am more prolific than ever, but the desire to be a rock star is completely gone. It’s no longer fulfilling to play every night unless the music, audience and venue is respectable. No more playing covers in a bar band, now it is about creating art for its own sake.

I never thought I would say this, but eventually I want to have a wife and children, and I want to support them doing what I love. A greater purpose calls me and even if I’m never successful as a musician, I’ll always be able to record and perform music in some capacity. I can die happy knowing this. It’s been my dream for the past 10 years to be successful, and at this point it is my best interest to seriously evaluate exactly what that means. A very exciting new phase in my life is just beginning, and as hard as it is to admit, I’m finally growing up. I know it’s the right time because growing up no longer means sacrificing what I love. Now it’s about continuing to create music with class and integrity, doing away with the excesses, and focusing all of my energy on being a good person. Not because there are material or financial rewards involved, but because it makes the world a better place to live in when you treat others with kindness and respect.

Congratulations on a Life Well-Lived… So Far

 

It was a good year

Looking back on this year fills me with a deep sense of satisfaction for having lived out so many dreams and seeing so many people and places all over America. For the first time in forever I am living up to my potential and doing what I love with integrity and honesty. As usual, a lot of disappointments occured, but all hurdles were overcome and led to better things eventually. Ever since I was a kid I dreamed of travelling throughout America with people that I considered to be great friends as well as awesome musicians and artists. Now I can say I’ve done that. While we unfortunately are not playing together today, my experiences in Strangefeather inspired me to continue on another path with new friends and expand the family that is such a vital part of why I make music. For all of these things I am so grateful to the fans, supporters, musicians, club owners and staff, who all play a vital role in keeping live music alive all over America. If I was ever without hope before, it is now completely restored.

 

Weddings are fun…

Just listing the accomplishments of this past year makes my head spin: Played 100 shows in 25 states accross America on three seperate tours, with as many as 52 gigs in one 65-day period, reaching thousands of people’s ears along the way. Released “Interstellar Lounge Music” and played on albums by Monsters are Not Myths and TV Mike & the Scarecrowes. I’ve also written about 60 new songs and cut some new tracks in LA with Jenni Alpert and Eric Boulanger. I held down a steady job during all of this, too, which wouldn’t be possible without my awesome, accomodating bosses. I’ve been places and seen things that I never even thought existed, and met hundreds of wonderful new people along the way. I’ve learned things about my self that I never knew before and pushed both my physical and mental limits beyond their capacities. I’m glad to say that I’m still crazy after all of this.

A lot of people admit that they would never be able to do what I do. To get things done I’ve had to rough it a time or two. Lots of sleeping on floors and in the backs of cars, waking up cold and going days without a shower. Living off of only the most basic of gas station fast food for weeks at a time. Being constantly broke for days on end and staying in sketchy situations with questionable people. Getting ripped off by bars and fixing broken buses and bass amps, playing at puppet shows and chinese food buffets, drinking other people’s beer, being asked to play “Free Bird” again, and lifting lots of heavy stuff are all part of the job description, and none of it really bothers me in the least. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing. I’ve learned a lot of what not to do, and I feel like I am ready to start being wise now. Because there are no financial rewards for surviving all of these hardships, there is a sense of adventure in everything I do, and it’s ultimately more satisfying than making a heap of money. Of course, I am now learning how to do both at once. I must admit that there were moments in the past year when I wanted to give up on everything and just be normal, but it was from these darkest moments that I gathered the perspective to continue onward, and am stronger because of it. For a long time I’ve thought I have what it takes to be a musician. Now I know it’s true.

 

Still rockin’ in the free world

My goals for next year are simple. Instead of playing so many shows, I want to play better venues with better sound and for more people. I want to perform and write with as many successful and talented musicians as possible and make better records. I want you to be able to turn on the television or radio and hear my songs playing. I want to tour with different bands and see what works. I want to take more airplane flights and I want more guitars and recording gear (maybe even unlimited studio time?). Most of all, I want to make a name for myself as a solo artist and continue to express how much I enjoy what I do. Again, I have all of the wonderful people in my life to thank for such a priviledge. For now, I am content with sitting back and reflecting on my accomplishments and taking it easy for a little while. Happy New Year!

 

Goodbye 2009, Hello 2010!

Now is the Not the Time for a New Blog Post

 

Against All Odds!

I’m busy, my boss has asked me to do a million things that can’t possibly be done on time. I’ve been on hold with AT&T for the past half hour with their tech support trying to get the fax to work again, and someone just piled a bunch of holiday cards onto my desk. Everyone is taking off somewhere on vacation and is also rushing to finish whatever they are doing, too. Yet, amongst all this chaos I am still able to squeeze out a quick blog.

I feel like Anderson Cooper at the scene of some giant hurricane as it mercilessly blows his silver mane into a frenzy and he clings tightly to his microphone, continuing to mutter useless drivel against all odds… against all odds! It’s more the point that he’s bringing the news to you, rather than whether or not you need to know that news. So as the hurricane at my office job continues in the background, I sneak quick sentences into this blog without checking for punctuation and spellng errors. The plants go unwatered and the fax line remains inoperable, Christmas cards remain unsent and I can hear the sound of people having mental breakdowns behind me, but I still continue forward with my blog, against all odds. AGAINST ALL ODDS!!

I couldn’t find a big Anderson Cooper shot, so here’s some Dan Rather look-alike instead

I just spent the past 20 minutes looking for pictures of Anderson Cooper online instead of writing those important checks that have to go out today. I found out a lot about this creepy bastard, none of which was the slight bit interesting or helpful in writing this blog. And it certainly wasn’t helpful in getting all the work done that I have to do today. I also learned that Anderson Cooper must have several interns scouring the web for images of him, because there are simply no unflattering pictures of him available anywhere. I even searched “Anderson Cooper + The Artist Formerly Known as ‘Prince’” to see if maybe they have some kind of affair going on, but all I found was this really creepy website of a Japanese girl who is obsessed with “The Silver Fox” and posts thousands of screenshots of him from each of his broadcasts, peppered with some videos of her playing piano. I think I’m going to be sick…

And yet, still no work has been accomplished. I must stop this now, it’s even getting too much for me.

The only emberassing picture available of Anderson Cooper

Lil’ Ol’ Record Release Party @ Make-Out Room SF 11/29

   

The Lil’ Old Record Release Party for “Interstellar Lounge Music” turned out to be a success, and I have all of my faithful friends and fans to thank for it. It was amazing to see so many people from so many places in the past mixed with new ones, reminding me of that Kinks song, “All of My Friends Were There”. I have many people to thank for their support. First off, Loretta Lynch and The Bang are both awesome bands that I have played a few shows with before, and their music just plain rocks! Not only that, but everyone was wonderful to work with, and brought such a positive attitude to the table. I wish more bands could learn to be friendly with one another, it really does make everything more pleasant and meaningful for everyone involved. I love working with people who get that shows are about entertaining everyone by having a good time.

I also must thank Bunny Whiskers for her amazing album artwork and support at the show, and my roommate Mike for his conceptual contributions towards creating the gift bags with all the fun crap inside, and running the merch table with amazing persistence. He helped bring a fresh perspective to the stale concept of a record release party, and added to the fun. The plastic saphires were an especially big hit! Then I have to thank Charlie and Brian for working so hard to make the music the best it could be and support me, despite the fact that I am a little scatterbrained. Charlie has given me the courage to try new material and always has great ideas on the drums that add something extra to the song. Brian really came through on his first gig with me, and it’s been a long time since I’ve played with a new bassist since parting ways with Bill Cramer. He also fixed my dad’s guitars and is just a really great person to work with.

Next up is all the musicians who came to support that night with their presence. Eric and Paul from the Careless Hearts, TV Mike from the Scarecrowes, Evan from Monsters Are Not Myths, and Rusty from Jackpot were all doing what so many musicians don’t do often enough (myself included) by coming out and supporting their friends with smiles on their faces. I couldn’t want or ask for anything more.I’d also like to throw a shout-out to the newlyweds. Gerry and Carla Thomas tied the knot in October. Strangefeather played its final gig at their wedding (it was at Bimbo’s!). Ryan and Stephanie Vaughan have been great supporters of me for a long time, and I had the privilege of performing with Ryan at their wedding as well, also in October. In this crazy world it is great to see such wonderful people teaming up together, and it’s great to have them in my life. Now, how about some grandchildren already!I want to thank all of the people who worked that night – Chris did an amazing job on sound, and the people at the Make-Out are always easy to deal with, that’s why I love playing there! Thanks to James and Deb and La Bartendress Extraordanaire. And finally, I want to thank all the people who just came out to enjoy the show and got a CD. It’s always wonderful to see so many friendly faces in the crowd, and it’s such a great feeling to feed off the energy of the audience and give it back. For the musician, it’s like being spun on a gyroscope that exponentially goes faster and faster, and then – BLAST OFF! Into the realm of the Interstellar we go. I hope you all enjoyed the lounge music. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much;)A couple of other things. One, I am leaving to play a few shows in the Pacific Northwest next week with my friends Rives and Jesse, and I can’t wait to get back to that cool mountain air. Second, I wanted to let you know that the recordings I’m working on in LA are coming along nicely, and it won’t be long before we are in the mixing stage. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving, it was awesome to see so many old friends during this special holiday. See ya soon!

   

 

NOW is the Craziest Time of Year

Sometimes when dreams come true, it's not a good thing

Now is always the craziest time of year for me. I even have the numbers to prove it. My website stats are through the roof, my email box is full of frantic interactions, and now my blog is getting more action than ever. In the past, I have barely survived the mayhem, only to become ill afterwards and burn out for the rest of the year and months afterword. Last November was a great example. I was working 2 jobs, playing in 4 bands, releasing a record (which involved flying people into town and many rehearsals), and playing way too many shows back-to-back. I remember sometimes hopping from one gig to the next, calling people to ask them to turn on my amp for me. 

I’ve gotten pretty tired of overburdening myself and not sleeping right for weeks. It seems every time I burn out it takes 3 months just to get back on my feet. I could see how being a musician working for a record label that keeps pushing them when they’re burned out probably contributed to the demise of many a great talent (and Britney Spears). This year was no exception in the busy department. I released yet another album and had a great record release party at the Make-Out Room. All the cd’s and their packaging was hand-constructed, and I had to organize the entire night of 3 bands (it’s hard enough to organize one band!). Now I find myself embarking on a short 1-week tour (my third of the year), only to be faced with the daunting task of booking a longer one in March (tours book 2-3 months in advance). Meanwhile, I’ve been bouncing back and forth between SF and LA in what spare time I have to record new material and am still in the process of moving all my stuff next door, getting two new roommates, and dealing with the insanity of the remaining roomie.

But this year I made myself a promise:  I Shall Not Burn Out. I know it’s like saying that I won’t get old and die, but I’ve prepared as much as possible to avoid the inevitable. After having gone through this routine a few times, I’m able to anticipate the onslaught of insanity and avoid stress by eliminating things that aren’t important. I have taken as much time to get good rest and lay off the booze a little. I’ve taken on less work for money in exchange for the things I really love, and spent time socializing with good people and eating good food. I walk at least a couple of miles every day, and I try to focus on the most overwhelming tasks first and deal with the less important details later because most things come together at the last minute in my life anyway.

So far I am doing ok, although I can already sense the inevitable overwhelming sensation that follows accomplishing so many tasks and makes me wonder if I’ll want to do anything else ever again after surviving the experience. Accomplishing so many goals in such a short time is a wonderful feeling. It’s as if the entire year has built up to one maelstrom of events, and it’s all very climatic. I’ve had some great moments recently that I will remember for the rest of my life. But with the feeling of accomplishment comes a vacancy of inspiration, and it always takes time to realize new dreams and think them through enough to gain the confidence to enact them and following through. I plan on taking some time off in the second half of December to recover, but not for very long. I hope I make it through to the other side this time with a positive attitude and desire to keep moving forward. I don’t want to take another step back like I have so many times before. I’ll see you on the other side and let you know how it goes.

Too Much Coffee Makes Head Spin

GIVE ME MORE!!!

I drank too much coffee and now I feel like the Incredible Hulk on speed. I’ve already had one near mental breakdown this morning, and I figure only a valium could help now. Gotta get on a plane to LA in a couple of hours, and I already have a problem with fidgeting. I’m going to lose my mind, help!

Ok, gotta get it together. Quick, put on some music! No, not that song… or that one either. Must type faster. Oh – stupid computer, you’re not typing fast enough! Damn! Oh, god, I feel good, oh shit, I almost crapped my pants. This is insane. Someone should make coffee illegal, or at least you need a license to drink it. My mouth is dry, and it tastes like coffee… mmm. My head is big like a balloon and I can hardly focus my eyes. My neck hurts, gotta stretch – aaah! I almost fainted! My heart is beating too fast, and my lungs feel like they’re going to cave in. Maybe I shouldn’t have taken that Vicodin last night. Jesus. When will it stop?

Basically, I don’t have anything to say, except that coffee is ruining my life, and I love it! Nothing like getting paid to have a panic attack. I also noticed that even though I have all this energy and am completely wired, I can’t seem to get anything done and I’m making a lot of mistakes. This is gonna be interesting…

New Album, New World

The last few months have been dizzying. After surviving the not-so-cool breakup of Strangefeather in August (the day before our tour, might I add), I set out to reinvent my solo thing which I had kind of left on the backburner to tour with a rock band, which has always been a dream of mine. Luckily, I already had a solo record finished since March ‘09 called Interstellar Lounge Music (it’s about the Summer of Two-Thousand and Great!), and so I am just now getting around to putting it out on a limited-run basis, and it will eventually be available for download, too. I’ve decided to create a few handmade copies of the CD and give them out at my upcoming record release party (Nov. 29th @ Make-Out Room) – so come and get yours! Charlie Note is still in the band, and I’m happy to announce that Brian Michael, from San Jose band Careless Hearts will be playing bass for this show.

The breakup of a band is always hard, especially when the people in it are your friends that you have spent years working, sleeping, travelling, and partying with. The worst part for me has been explaining to all the fans of our music that we are no longer playing shows. But the good news is that I have grown and learned so much from my experiences that I am now ready to go out there and apply all that energy to my own music. A brief Pacific Northwest tour has been planned, and I’ll be visiting Portland, Seattle and Roslyn around December 9-15th. I will be playing some shows with Power of County (Portland) and Rives, the band’s guitarist, will accompany me on the tour. I’ll post more details as they become available.

I’m very excited about the new direction my music is taking. In 2009 I have played 90 gigs (so far), will have done 3 tours, and released an album, all while keeping my job and some sanity to boot. I’ve got tons of great material in the works, and am recording four songs with Jenni Alpert and Eric Boulanger in LA. I hope to have another album ready this time next year and tour the southern states of the US in March (I’ve already got a SXSW date lined up, too). A lot of changes always bring new beginnings, and it’s all a part of the growth process. I’m not giving up on playing music any time soon, so look out for me somewhere on down the line.

Success in Creating the Most Unpopular Blog of All Time

It wasn't easy, but I've finally done it!

In an effort to completely alienate my audience and leave them confused and frustrated, I have achieved the impossible title of, “World’s Most Unpopular Blog”. While most bloggers are trying to get people to read their thoughtful ideas and gasp with amazement at how incredibly cool their ability to find strange and interesting things on the internet is, I have been writing long and winding incomplete sentences without proofreading for errors. I’ve been purposely misspelling important words for the sake of frustration. My subject matter has been dull and uninteresting, and I’ve gone on ad naseum about topics that have already been better covered by more capable and professional internet writers. I have purposely chosen subject matter that is offensive and insensitive to just about every type of person you can imagine, while maintaining a droll monotone of unexciting prose. This methodology has been applied to all things that I hate or dislike, and without any variation from this routine, I have simply bitched and complained a lot without offering any better ideas or compelling critiques.

It’s been a hard road, but I am glad I finally made it. Being at the top of the pile of the worst blogs in the world is an achievement I never thought I would accomplish, mostly because I don’t have any confidence in myself at all. But by avoiding hard work and critical thinking despite all odds, this moment has finally arrived. Of course, no one will ever read this because I have less than two visitors to my blog in the past four months, and both of those were me. This is a personal accomplishment, and now I can go on to do other great things with my spare time, like sharpening my fish hook collection and shooting rats at the dump. With the extra void that this blog has filled in my life, so shall I find another outlet for my less-than-average creative energy. Way to go, me!

Hipster Poses as Real Musician, Gets Ass Kicked

William Chestnut, just prior to his beating

Late last Friday night, 24-year-old Mission resident William Chestnut (nicknamed “Chesternut” by so-called friends), was savagely beaten outside the Knockout Room at Mission and 29th Streets by an unknown group of men for attempting to pose as a musician and actually being a hipster. He is in critical condition at  UCSF, after being initially taken to SF General because paramedics assumed the unconscious victim was homeless. He was later identified as the son of an affluent lawyer and doctor from Menlo Park. Chestnut suffered severe injuries to his whiny jaw, beady eyes, and scrawny legs, but surprisingly, several well-placed kicks to the groin area caused very little damage. He is expected to be released in the next couple of days.

According to police, Chestnut moved to the Mission after enrolling in , and quickly dropping out of, the Academy of Art. His parents, unaware of his decision to leave the school, said that he used the tuition money in addition to his allowance and some of his hefty trust fund, to purchase vintage 80’s electronic musical equipment and cocaine in an attempt to jump-start his musical career. He was actually successful in getting a band of similarly greasy, precocious hipsters assembled together by throwing nightly parties at his apartment on 18th and Valencia St, under the guise of “auditions”.

“We knew he couldn’t play music, but he had all this free coke, and all my friends said he was like, not a rapist, and stuff,” said apathetic hanger-on Sarah Plumb, who witnessed the beating that occured shortly after Chestnut’s band, known as “Turd Muffin” was booed off stage and dragged into the streets.

“We aren’t sure exactly why he chose to try and be a musician, but it apparently angered some of the audience members who had come to rock out to some real music that night, and weren’t going to stand for any of his bullshit”, stated Police Officer Kevin Danno. He was the first on the scene to break up the fight.

According to ex-bandmate Chad Bigglesworth, “Turd Muffin was supposed to be a real band. We had fanny packs and headbands and everything, and we even figured out how to use the presets on our Casio keyboards and scrape kitchenware across a giant blackboard. We were very avante-garde and ahead of our time. Our time being the 80’s, that is. I can’t believe they took Chesternut down. Whose place are we going to party at now?”

The people responsible for the beating have not been arrested, although Officer Danno did pursue them looking for their autographs. The other bandmembers were spared any injuries after selfishly ratting out Chestnut as the primary leader responsible for the awful racket. He burst into tears as the crowd dragged him out into the streets to receive his punishment as the bar’s staff cheered them on.

According to the club’s bouncer Doug Blunt, “People were definitely not impressed with the awful screeching and cheesy synths. It was pretty obvious that these assholes had never even taken a music lesson before. The lead singer was the most offensive because he was wearing a neon pink loin cloth and velvet cape and was rubbing the microphone all over his pasty body. No wonder he got his ass beat”.

Police are not investigating the crime any further, and it is likely that all criminal charges will be dropped against the attackers even if they are caught, since the act was clearly committed in self-defense for the public’s sanity. When asked if he would press charges, Chestnut moaned, “I don’t care, I’m going to sue the pants off all you people - I am the next Boy George!”

My Posts are Too Long

I just noticed that most of my posts are too long for most people’s attention spans. If you are one of these people, I am sorry, I promise to work on it. As a consolation, here is an extremely short post, along with an intriguing picture that is kind of discomforting. And now I’m making it just a little bit longer. Uh-oh, now I’m ruining it by making it too long. Seriously, if I could just stop writing now it would be perfect… but I can’t help myself. Ok, I’m going to stop now. No, seriously, I will.